Helping Children Cope with Big Emotions
- Gisella La Madrid
- Jun 23
- 3 min read
Big feelings can be overwhelming—for adults and especially for children. Whether it’s frustration, sadness, anxiety, or even excitement, children often experience emotions in ways they don’t yet understand or know how to manage. As caregivers, educators, and mental health professionals, our role is to help them build the skills to process these emotions in healthy and constructive ways.
Why Big Emotions Matter
Children don’t always have the vocabulary or awareness to describe what they’re feeling. Instead, emotions can come out in ways that seem disruptive—like tantrums, withdrawal, or defiance. But beneath these behaviors is often a need for connection, safety, and understanding. Helping children navigate these emotions early on builds resilience, emotional intelligence, and stronger relationships with themselves and others.
1. Name the Emotion
The first step to managing any feeling is recognizing it. Teach children to identify and name what they’re feeling—angry, scared, jealous, embarrassed, or excited. Use storybooks, emotion charts, or simply model the language yourself:
“It looks like you’re feeling frustrated because your tower fell. That can be really upsetting.”
By giving emotions a name, children learn they are normal, manageable, and not something to be feared.
2. Create a Safe Space for Expression
Children need to know it’s okay to feel what they’re feeling. Instead of dismissing or minimizing big emotions with phrases like “Don’t cry” or “It was nothing,” create a safe environment where all feelings are welcome. You might say:
“It’s okay to be mad right now. I’m here with you.”
Safe expression might involve talking, drawing, squeezing a pillow, or simply sitting quietly with someone they trust.
3. Teach Simple Coping Strategies
Helping children find appropriate ways to manage their emotions gives them confidence and control. Some simple tools include:
● Deep breathing ("smell the flower, blow out the candle")
● A quiet corner or “calm-down” space
● Drawing or journaling
● Physical activity (dancing, jumping, stretching)
● Talking to a trusted adult
Over time, they’ll learn which strategies work best for them.
4. Validate Their Feelings Without Fixing Everything
As adults, it’s natural to want to solve problems right away. But sometimes children just need to feel heard. Instead of jumping to solutions, try validating their experience:
“That sounds really hard. I can see why you’re feeling that way.”
This builds trust and teaches children that their emotions are valid—even when the situation can’t be changed right away.
5. Model Emotional Awareness Yourself
Children learn a lot from watching the adults around them. When you express your own emotions in healthy ways, they see what’s possible:
“I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed today, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths.”
Being open about your emotions shows them that everyone—kids and grownups—experiences big feelings, and that there are safe ways to manage them.
When to Seek Extra Support
Sometimes big emotions become too much for a child or family to handle alone. If your child is experiencing prolonged sadness, aggression, withdrawal, or anxiety that interferes with daily life, it may be time to connect with a counsellor. Our team at Strong Ties is here to help your child explore their emotions and build tools to cope, grow, and thrive.
📧 Don’t hesitate to reach out: Info@strongties.ca 🌐 Visit us: www.strongties.ca
